A Season for the Spirit: Howdy Partner!

The movie "Parenthood" contains some of the most memorable scenes in movie history. It is rarely mentioned as being one of the all time classics. However, the film creatively covers most of life's dilemmas of what it means to live in community. Steve Martin plays a father who experiences parental struggles, marital conflicts, disapproval with relatives, frustration with his past, and the continuous need to be productive so that everyone will be pleased.

The plot sounds terribly depressing but it is infused with a great deal of humor and meaningful dialogue. I will never forget his quote following an argument with his wife. "My whole life is have-to." He apparently had his own idealistic perspective of what being a father and husband would look like. He was disappointed at the reality of it all. He was even more disappointed with his own efforts that had ended in failure. Was there anyone to notice how committed he was? Would there be any approval from others?

Until he let it all out. "Howdy Partner!" When the clown showed up drunk and the hired cowboy couldn't make it to his son's birthday party (if my memory is correct), Martin dresses up like a cowboy and saves the day. I remember thinking, "that is the dad I want to be one day."

"Addiction would not be too strong of a word to describe the need of many of us to be constantly productive and active. We have been brought up to assume that busying ourselves incessantly in fulfilling people's wants and needs will guarantee their approval. And stopping will set off shrill voices inside of us that will not desist until we start working again."

Basing our value upon whether or not we are satisfying other's interpretation of what it means to be human is a tragic way to live.

Now comes the well-known story of Martha, Mary, and Jesus. Martha, distracted with busy service, becomes agitated because Mary has discovered the magnetic quality of Jesus. Mary has done nothing to deserve this satisfaction and Mary resents it. Her identity as a hostess is not being fed by others and, therefore, she feels less of a person. This is a modern compulsion of everyday life, isn't it? We do what we do so that others will show their pleasure.

The story ends abruptly with the words of Jesus challenging her to quit what she is doing. Does the anxiety of letting go build to more anxiety in your life? Probably so. I imagine Martha would say the same. Yet by simply sitting and letting go of the "have-to" of life, just for a moment, she allows herself to experience a meaningful moment with Jesus. She did not have to entirely give up on being a perfect hostess. However, she did realize a valuable lesson. Martha realized through a later parable that she too can be a "student and confidante of Jesus."

May we all take time, especially during the Lenten season, to stop and deepen our knowledge of the kingdom of God in the company of Jesus.