A Season for the Spirit: The Disciple Whom Jesus Loved

Jesus needed companionship. The Scriptures are very clear, in my opinion, that Jesus took comfort in the company of his disciples. This typically doesn't cause any controversy. However, the Gospels also clearly show that Jesus had a favorite. And that interpretation may make people either very uncomfortable or angry.

I'm sure there are people in both camps (conservative and liberal) who are offended at the notion that Jesus had a favorite disciple. A conservative MAY believe there is little room for a Jesus needing anything at all, especially a close friend. On the other hand, a liberal MAY take issue with the idea of Jesus not regarding everyone as equals. I understand these generalizations are not exactly necessary but the point is this; that we become distressed to think of Jesus needing the intimacy of a particular friendship. The word 'intimate' is enough for some of us to think we are all sliding down a slippery slope in which we can never return.

"But does Jesus needing an intimate relationship with a friend show him to be too vulnerable for our liking."

But Jesus' favorite disciple, who goes nameless, is recorded as lying close to Jesus' breast. Ignoring the centuries and customs, I have to say that Jesus must have been an extremely likeable person. And maybe this quality is what we often fail to capture. The last thing I want to do is to make Jesus into my 'buddy' or 'pal' but it is worth noting that this particular disciple was very fond of Jesus. Are you feeling uneasy yet?

This is personal...this is physical...and the minute we try to dilute the meaning or ignore it is when we are taken back the slow-paced passage of the last supper in which we are all asked to participate with Jesus in something both sad and...intimate.

Even the leaning over to Jesus' breast sounds like an uncomfortable position. We all stand a bit puzzled at the beloved disciple. Maybe this is why we relate so well to him. Who among us doesn't feeled puzzled most of the time about how we should feel and what we should be doing with the living Christ. We know that our minds can't fully grasp who he is. He seems to move in the shadows behind us rather than revealing himself in the daylight. He accompanies us through dark times but rarely saves us from them. We depend on the spiritual elite to convince us that he really is there and really is alive. We learn the hard way that our doubt in him is something that can lead us to a deeper relationship.

We all relate to the awkwardness of the disciple placing his head on Jesus. What should be our approach? What should be our attitude toward his kindness and mercy? We know he is compassionate but at times it this truth behaves like mere words on a page.

Peter was just as puzzled. He didn't understand how this particular disciple's life would unfold following the resurrection. So what did Jesus tell his beloved disciple?

He told him to remain (abide).

"Maybe he goes unnamed so that we can better accept the he bears witness to an intimacy that is meant for each of us. His closeness is a sign of a closeness that is meant for me and you."

We are called to live and we are called to pray...close to the heart of Jesus. And this is not mere affection. The disciple could hear the pounding heart of the one who anticipated arrest, torture, and death.

"To live close to the heart of Jesus would mean living in contact with the joy and agony of Christ. in prayer, if we would just allow ourself to be loved instead of talking so much we would enter into the joy of Christ. And the simplicity of that would allow us to enter into the pain of God.