A Season for the Spirit: Our Alienated Adulthood vs. The Child of Glory

Martin L. Smith maintains that within our hearts there exists a "society of the self." Who can deny this now? The Holy Spirit wants us to reconcile this society under the mercy, grace, and leadership of Christ. During this life-long experience we are guaranteed to witness selves that we were not aware of and hear voices that we had previously silenced. The wounded child in us must be brought to life...and the child of glory can then rejoice in a Spirit of playfulness and wonder.

If the Holy Spirit is reconciling what is in our complicated heart, then how could we ever believe that this could be a boring, lifeless experience. Yet we proceed through life afraid of playfulness and bound in alienated adulthood. Yet, if we allow God to demonstrate his youthfulness...yes, youthfulness...then we can once again be born again by the Creator.

Do you remember the day that you, as a child, once realized that the adult world was filled with awful terror, dishonesty, and unavoidable boredom? I can't place my finger on it but, whether it be the local news or a church dispute, I one day realized that adults were wonderful at screwing up things. Smith writes, "There can be a massacre of the innocents in the heart; there has to be whenever the powers that be there choose the way of greed, senseless hedonism, mediocre agnosticism, or deadly seriousness religion."

And another question. Have you ever been unable to experience the wonderful creation of God...right in front of you...but it just seems to be an impossible task? Maybe this has happened during a vacation where you just can't seem to soak in the awe of what is in front of you. Maybe you have felt disconnected at the sight of a beautiful new-born although you know that you should be amazed at the sight of an innocent, vulnerable child. If you can relate to these experiences in some manner, then there is a good chance that your heart has sold itself out to adulthood and the "authority of the child" has been denied.

"Where the authority of the child (within your heart) is denied there will inevitably be spiritual sickness." Smith rightly proclaims that churches these days do not dare mention that they represent the abundance of life that Jesus came to bring. This is because the abundance of life is simply not there. The impression of life maybe...but true abundant life hardly. We are deadly serious about our worship, there is no time for play, some churches hollow with triviality, most filled with petty relationships, and again all filled with boredom.

So what are we to do? More programs? More fellowships? More obligations? More guilt?

NO!

It begins first with each Christian individual. Each must realize the primacy of imagination and play. Each must let the air out of his/her own adult pomposity (I need to look the word up also). Each must appreciate the surroundings and appreciate the uniqueness of others. Each much have their imaginations rekindled by God. Each must love the child within and permit its power that results in dreaming and feeling.

Creation is wonder and the Creator is glorious. We must allow wonder to penetrate our hearts so that we can enjoy the glory through praise. We must each repent of the sin of familiarity which leads to boredom.

Today, let us all implore the Spirit to open our child's inner eye to see the mystery and beauty and intense significance of the ordinary things of life.

Or as a former professor once told his class, "All you have to do is be awake!" May God awaken the inner child of glory within us.

A Season for the Spirit: The Wounded Child

I admit it! Just mention the inner child to me and you will see me roll my eyes in frustration. I am an adult and their are responsibilities in which to tend. Any discussion about someone's inner child is a crutch or a weak excuse to avoid the inevitible reality that life is difficult. I have learned throughout the years that the last thing I must do is become vulnerable. Why? Because there will always be people out there who will take advangage of the vulnerable.

Although I can never imagine myself adopting the language in social circles, Jesus DID tell his people that we all must become as little children. And then adds a stern warning that, as Smith reminds us, is never captured on stained glass windows or "children's corner" at church.

Jesus tells them that if they do not, it may become an obstacle if they wish to enter into the Kingdom of God.

OK, maybe I should consider this idea in my prayer life!

When you think about it...it makes sense. Children do not build the obstacles that adults do because, at least the innocent among them, desire relationships and trust. I was watching Nightline late last night and I was overjoyed to see N.T. Wright speaking of what he believed was an accurate Biblical image of heaven. He claims that the idea of heaven has been manipulated over the centuries as a response to the alternative....Hell. His studies have resulted in a conclusion that will bother most evangelical Christians; especially the evangelicals among us who base every ounce of energy on their own future arrival in heaven or leading others to this ambigious place we know little about.

Heaven, to Wright, is more like a holding place (a real place) but it is only temporary due the promise from Christ that he will make all things new again and create a new earth (that is like heaven.) This is what should motivate us to do good works, fight for justice, and work towards things like the freedom of children and modern day slaves. With this Biblical imagery, we now have a connection to the world around us because it is this world that will one day be made anew. All tears will one day be wiped away and the horrors that take place behind closed doors in our own neighborhoods involving children will one day cease to take place.

None of us can literally become like children again. None of us would want that. But we can allow Christ to bring to life the child that is within us. "Truly, I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

So if we were to catch a glimpse of this recreated new world, what would it look like? One image that comes to mind for me is one where all of us would not only identify each other in some way but also possess the heart of a child. It would be a place where equality is universally accepted, where relationships are pure and innocent, where everything is shared, and God is big (not so mysterious) and loving.

So what about all of us who have a 'wounded' child within us? We can let God heal the wounds that are there and realize that prayer is not always "serious adult business." We must allow ourselves to be embraced and in order for that to happen we must become vulnerable to God. We must become like children.

"Take away from me my fear of a child's vulnerability. Help me recognize that I am also a wounded child; otherwise I may bar myself from the kingdom."
Martin L. Smith

A Season for the Spirit: Every Carbon Atom in My Body was Formed in a Star when 3 Helium Nuclei Collided in One Spot in Less than a Millionth of a Sec

Origen said that we have within us the sun and the moon and also the stars. It is literally true. "Every constituent of our bodies has had a million other lives in the seas, in plants, in animals."

To most, the idea that we are so connected to creation is going to seem heretical. Why? Because we have been unfortunately taught by over zealous churches and secular agendas that our bodies stand as enemies of God. We have been born into sin, sexuality is something to never discuss in church, we are unique to the rest of the created order and therefore stand at odds with it, the heart is evil, and we have dominion over fallen creation.

But what if we internalized the reality that our heart, when converted to mercy will, "burn for all creation, for humankind, for birds and animals and demons and for every creature" we realize that we can never truly love God's world without first loving the world that is summed up in our own body.

The most important thing that I have learned in this study is that God is reconciling the many things within my heart. The heart is filled with unfathomable depths and it part of God's creation. Therefore, God seeks to reconcile all of creation and thus reconcile the many fears, passageways, chambers, reception rooms, hidden closets, and trap doors that are within our complicated heart.

And this is not about the gratification of the senses of our body. This provides no ultimate healing for any of us. But neither are we to stand in front of the mirror with suspicion of our senses and that they are enemy territory for God. Rather, we must "examine the way we fail to use our bodies and powers of touch to bless and help others through tenderness. It risks venturing into precarious areas, like my fear of sickness and death. It turns us outward to the world, and gets me to ask for grace day by day to delight in my senses and use them to stay alert, connected, and appreciative."

May our bodies through worship, service, and the sacraments result in being deeply integrated into the one, true holy one Jesus Christ.

A Season for the Spirit: Finding the Treasure Within Us

One of life's primary struggles is arguing with our own self-understanding of who we are. Christ tells through experience and the New Testament writers speak of our true identity in Christ; but we choose to recreate ourselves by our past, by our desired personalities, and our image of ourselves.

But there is a true center. "And unless we come to acknowledge and believe in this true center, we will continue to imagine that our public personalities or our image of ourselves is the whole truth of who we are."

I still recall a professor of mine reminding us all that the primary message that people need to hear is one of identity. Christ makes us into who we are because he is dwelling in the center of who we are. The other stuff that we place around it are obstacles meant to cover up fear of life and fear of death.

But this is only half of it. Again, many of us resort to the distorted belief that the centered life is reserved for the spiritual elite. But the "new being is not dangled in front of our eyes as some elusive goal to which we one day might attain if we struggle hard enough. It is already ours through the undeserved gift of Christ's indwelling."

Thomas Merton explained it by saying, "all we need is to experience what we already possess." "You start where you are and deepen what you already have and you realize that you are already there."


"Give me the simplicity to believe that the name of Jesus pronounced with love and adoration is more powerful than all my schemes for changing myself for the better."
- Martin L. Smith

A Season for the Spirit: Societies of the Self

"Spirit of love, if I am to express the hospitality of God to all sorts of very different people, to people who seem very alien from me, then I need to learn to listen to each one of them very attentively. But how can I pretend to listen carefully to the different people I encounter if I refuse to listen to the different voices within my heart? What chance is there of loving and respecting others if I refuse to meet and listen to the many sides of myself? How can I be a reconciler if I shut my ears to the unreconciled conflicts within myself and pretend that I have already arrived at peace?"
-Martin L. Smith

Many of us fear the inner question of "Who am I?" because we are uncertain of what will be revealed at the end of the journey. In addition, the question sounds 'soft' and this conflicts with what we have been taught concering salvation, discipleship, and evangelism. We are a do-it-alone country living in a individualistic culture and to ask "Who am I?" admits something that is undeniable but also very peculiar; that we have another self (or even many selves).

This type of introspection is dangerous and questionable. For instance, if one day my 18 year old son begins to ask the question of "Who am I?" I will probably become concerned. My fear is that he would then skip college, set off toward the west, and grow facial hair while "just wanting to find himself." I can only hope that he has the spiritual maturity to ask the question in light of the Spirit dwelling in him. Because every person will ask this question and express it in some unique manner.

But if "all things are there" it can only be a healthy practice to ask the question and allow the Spirit to unify all of these "worlds," "selves," "microcosms;" how ever you would like to put it. You see the impossibility of reconciling all of our selves on our own!

Smith sees the self as a kind of society. I add that society needs government.
Smith writes that there are at least two selves, the asker and the recipient. I add that opposing people often need a mediator to arrive at truth.
Smith believes that there is a courageous self and a timid self. I add that, in community, a protector must make sure that one does not dominate the other.
Smith sees many selves in our past. I add that encouragers in life are needed so that we can make reconcilation, even forget, our previous mistakes.
Smith writes that there exists a diverse cast of characters within our hearts. I add that it takes a director to make everything work as it should.

"The Holy Spirit dwells in our heart and is no stranger to the diversity and conflict there." "The Spirit of God desires to bring the selves of the self into a unity around the center of the indwelling Christ." He unifies, he governs, he mediates, he protects, he encourages, and he directs.

A Season for the Spirit: All Things Are There!

"You yourself are even another little world and have within you the sun and the moon and also the stars." - early Christian quote by Origen

To simply pause and think about the Spirit of God in us will often create an image that the human person is a miniature world. Martin L. Smith has a reproduction of a scroll by beside his bed that contains the words, "Self revealed: all things in heaven and earth exist in oneself."

There is so much there! So much within us! But there exists a great temptation to believe that we are simply a number to God. To even imagine our heart having many rooms of unfathonable depths is risky. For to believe it is admit that we ourselves may not be aware of all that is there.
What will we do if we discover by the Spirit's exploration that there exists 'reception rooms,' 'offices,' and 'passages?' How must we pray if in our heart lies death and life and righteousness and wickedness? If we left it there then it would be daunting and scary. But if we consider the fact that the king of the palace is Christ, then we may be more open to let him have access to our miniature world. The heart is small but in it dwells 'dragons' and 'lions' but it is also where Christ rests. "All things are there."

"You are God's world in miniature," writes Smith.

"We do not get tiny bits of his attention and care because God is wholly present and wholly available."

So how do these profound statements work into our normal routine of daily life. We do have responsibilities in which to tend! Well, Christ has asked each of us to slow it down, rest in him, and meet him in solitude. And during this Lenten season we all have the joy of knowing that we do not go about it alone. You join others in moments of solitude each day. We are doing what Christ has asked us to do and it is only there that we can allow him to take us into the 'wilderness' of our soul. We must find time to be alone so that truth can be revealed.

If this is done then we cannot avoid the questions of "Is God there for me?" or "Is God's attention absorbed by the vast world?" Should we bother God then?

But it is when we are alone that we can be assured that "the father who knows us in secret, secretely sees the whole world in each one of us and loves it, and cares for everything about us and in us."

A Season for the Spirit: No Room for Self-loathing

Spirit of God, have I ever felt true compunction? Regret, remorse, self-criticism, deploring my failures-all of these I know. But as I struggle now to be truthful I realize that there is often a self-centeredness in these feeling and little joy. There is a secret pleasure in wounding my self-esteem further with blame. But where is the joy at being forgiven, the pain of facing the paltriness of my compassion, and the joy again of looking forward to my own full conversion? These can only come as your gift. No effort of mind can generate the 'grief that make for joy."
Martin L. Smith

"Today, Tuesday, may we NOT lose ourselves in the contemplation of our own inadequacies. Rather, let us lose ourselves in the contemplation of the all-inclusive embrace of God's love in which we are held."

A Season for the Spirit: Keeping the Spirit at Arm's Length

Spirit who filled Jesus, no wonder I shy away from the mystery of your indwelling! The moment I consent to your living and moving in me, and trust you, the numbness I have relied on to get through life begins to wear off. Give me the faith to be vulnerable to the joy the Father has in me through my union with Jesus the Beloved. Give me the courage to share the pain of the world which is so far from its home and center, the Living God.
- Martin L. Smith

Who is the Spirit to you? Is the Spirit remote from reality like an attic of mystical, stored-away teachings? Again, is a true spiritual, wilderness experience driven by the Spirit only reserved for the elite among us? Is the numbness to the Spirit actually a resistance that tries to keep the the Spirit at arm's length?

My son's room is a wreck right now. As I try to get him ready for school, I undoubtebly began to get agitated at the extreme mess of it. I knew that if we did not get in there before Christmas and clean things up, send things to Goodwill, and throw useless items away; it would come back to haunt us. As a result, I am embarrassed to allow his neighbor friend into our house. Things must be cleaned up before any unexpected guests arrive.

Our life and journey with the Spirit is similar to this. Our resistance to the full access of the Spirit is due to our shame of the Spirit seeing our inner rooms. "Inner rooms from which even our own conscious minds are barred." And when the Spirit's presence is beginning to make itself known we feel as if, in Paul Claudel's words, "an undesired lodger has moved in, one who does not hesitate to rearrange the chairs according to his taste, to drive nails into the walls and, if necessary, even to saw up the furniture when he is cold and needs a fire."

We are taught from birth that we are autonomous; we have complete ownership of ourselves. But in reality we are beggers. We can't even pray like we should because of all the rooms that need to be examined and cleaned. As a result, the Spirit prays within me "with sighs too deep for words." Throughout my life I have had many, many articulate, meaningful, sincere experiences through prayer. And then I walk away believing that the prayers were my own.

I could choose to get stuck in the shame of it. I could wallow in self-loathing and say "what is the use?" This would lead directly to the anesthetic that often overtakes our love for God and the world. But there is a better option for all of us.

We could surrender ourselves to the Spirit. Sound idealistic doesn't it? Admit it, that is what came to your mind, right? Just religioius speak as always.

That is resistance sounding its alarm. Anesthesia.

And we know that the Spirit of God is having his way with us when the anesthetic begins to wear off. We then become vulnerable to God's love (joy) and the condition of the world (pain). So let us pray, not relying on our own strength, but on the Spirit who prays within us.

A Season for the Spirit: Deep within our Humanity

In the scriptures we find that the Spirit is like a wind that drives us towards places that we will be exposed to liberating truth. This is essential to our faith but it is, nevertheless, just an image. The Spirit is found deep within us. Jesus refers to the Spirit of God gushing out of the heart. 'Heart' literally means 'guts.' Jesus is not refering to the trivial manner in which we as Christians often use the word 'heart.' Jesus is talking about the core of our humanity. If the Spirit is not alive within us, then who are we really?

Martin L. Smith tells a captivating story about searching for a centuries old spring. The spring was once known as a holy spring. In the Middle Ages, pilgrims once searched for this spring but all trace of it was lost. The expedition was a failure.

So Smith went out to find it. After hours of probing around he wondered if the cows in the field that we standing in the stinking mud patch might be guarding this special secret. He was right. There he found a carved platform with a wooden pipe. Pure, clean water flowed from it in a steady stream.

"We are reminded here that the home of the Spirit is not found in the intellect, the realm of concepts or ideas, not in a refined interior sanctum of spirituality, but in the 'guts', the deep core where our passions have their spring, the place of conflict, confusion, vulnerability, and desire."

The pilgrims had not found the spring because they hurried past the stinking mud patch and swarming flies. How often do we, on occasion or with our entire lives, pass over the place of the Spirit's indwelling? Are we looking in vain in only the cleaner world of spiritual thought and piety?

The following parable tells us all we need to know. It is about a man who was seen searching for something at night under a street light. "Did you lose something here?" he is asked. "No, over there," he replies, pointing to a dark corner some distance away, "but this is where the light is good."

This is the story of the spiritual quest of so many of us.

The Spirit is found in the core of our own humanity. I find comfort in this. The Spirit is a mysterious wind but we need not get fixed with only this image. The Spirit flows in our heart, the guts of who we are, and it flows there continuously. It just needs to be uncovered.

A Season for the Spirit: Yearning to Be Distinct

Spirit of Jesus, give me the courage to take my heart and look it in the face! It is absurd to be surprised to see there cravings to be special, to be invulnerable, to dominate. Only if you deepen my awareness of your indwelling and the priceless gift of intimacy with the Father which is already mine can these desires give way to the truth that I belong to others and can serve and embrace them.
- Martin L. Smith

I once had a professor encourage us in divinity school to "simply be awake." If we are "awake" to our surroundings and walking in the Spirit then our council to others, our sermon preparation, and our Bible teaching will come from life itself. Martin L. Smith has learned over the years to be awake to his surroundings and listen to the stories of individual lives. What he has learned is that all people yearn to be joined with others. This is solidarity. The other is the yearning to be unique and distinct. This is identity. No wonder there are so many bloggers today. It gives a voice; sometimes vain, sometimes harsh, sometimes poetic, to millions of people a day.

In the Jordan Jesus experienced a massive affirmation of uniqueness. So what becomes of his identification with all of those weak and struggling mortals?

Jesus must reconcile the two. Now comes the literal desert of silence. Jesus is accompanied with only angels and is visited frequently by Satan.

Smith rightly proclaims what is really at stake. I had never made the connection before. What is at risk is his solidarity with ordinary human beings. A showmanship of power would place Jesus in an elite alignment of spiritual entities that have no need for bread and feel no pain.

"To exploit miraculous powers would be to insulate himself from dependence on others and, as a result, separate himself from ordinary men and women."

Would you fully trust a Jesus that used special powers to overcome temptation, have his stomach filled, and avoid pain?

We join Jesus on his journey because "the common way of faith lives with a deep sense of vulnerability." We must all reject the ways of spiritual elitism and bravado. Yet so much emphasis is placed on leadership these days. We use the same tactics and expect the same results as the secular world. There are even books centered around becoming a leader like Jesus. But here I see a vulnerability that depends on God alone and the help of others.

"Charismatic leadership depends on sustaining the illusion that the leader is above and beyond the common masses, an illusion they need as much as he or she does." What does this say about the popular preachers of today? What does it say about Christian culture? What does it say about the charismatic leader who may just need the illusion as much as the person he or she leads? It is time to be confident, not in our own skills and dynamics, but in the Spirit alone that drove Jesus into the wilderness.

Jesus stands with them and his actions demonstrate that he will never stand over them.

Our wilderness experience is about taking a close look at our own hearts; what is "below the surface stream, shallow and light of what we say we feel." We may find that our hearts are insulated, to use Smith's word, by secular skills, bravado, control, manipulation, and self-confidence. Taking our own hearts and looking them in the face is the essence of this (Lenten )wilderness experience. - Dorothy Sayers

A Season for the Spirit: Jesus' Solidarity with the Ordinary

Spirit like a dove descending, in spite of my timidity I am appealing to you to center my heart on this axis of truth in these forty days. Every small step you enable me to take towards a deeper compassion for my fellow human beings will lead me further into the experience of the Father's delight in me and care for me. And vice vesa. Every step I take in mediation to intensify my awareness of the love of God poured into my heart through the gift of your indwelling will take me into a deeper identification with the suffering world, "groaning in labor pains until now."
- Martin L. Smith

The baptism of Jesus was a mass baptism. How often do you imagine Jesus as the only one being baptized by John? Well, it is time for us to all...reimagine the scene.

The baptism of Jesus was a mass baptism. It is recorded in the Scriptures that many had come from the countryside and were being baptized. But we often ignore the references, or just forget, that Jesus' baptism was among the many.

So the question arises, "Are we bothered by an ordinary baptism of Jesus among ordinary people like me and you?"

We use up a lot of energy keeping Jesus at a distance. Although he understands us more than we understand ourselves and although he has kept every promise he has made...we often refuse to recognize his solidarity with us.

"His solidarity with the ordinary."

Jesus did not look down on the ordinary with confident guiltlessness. Rather he plunged, as he would continue to do for years, into the life of the crowd. "He threw away his separateness to take on the identity of struggling men and women who were reaching out in mass for the lifeline of forgiveness."

Here Jesus identifies with us and is seen as "The Human Being." He represents humanity and is given the necessary life-giving Breath for his mission.

"Can you feel and see yourself as part of that crowd of humanity in the muddy water and experience the entry of Jesus into our condition, into our needs?"

It is a valid interpretation if you draw a connection between the moment of Jesus' solidarity with ordinary people and the moment of God's revelation of intimate relationship with Jesus.

So where does this lead us on our journey? God's desire is that we become intimate and personal with him, especially during this season of Lent. But at the same moment it is important that we open ourselves to compassion, understanding, and solidarity with our fellow struggling, anxious, needy human beings.

To be open to the Spirit is to be open to humanity and all its fractured ways.

A Season For the Spirit: The View from Jericho

Spirit of truth, you know me intimately, you alone know what barriers to truth in me are ready to come down now so that i can enter more freely into the reality of God than ever before. Give me perseverence in my prayer and reflection day by day this Lent so that when the time is ready these barriers may give way like the walls of Jericho.
- Martin L. Smith

It is Ash Wednesday. Here we stand at the beginning of another Lent. Each of us are at a certain spiritual point in our life journey. As Martin Smith says, "Perhaps I have made progress since this day last year, wandered, or hung back. But we are invited to make our annual pilgrimage to the same place, a certain common point for starting over again." The common place is found in the New Testament where Jesus is baptized and then driven by the Spirit into the wilderness. Jesus' 40 days had begun.

We all are invited to this place. It is the beginning. Join the many who will take it upon themselves to recognize the Spirit driven journey that even Jesus had to endure. Let us get caught up in it. The Spirit desires that each of us be driven into a type of wilderness so that we can see truth for what it really is...an event...not a thing.

But don't try to take on this journey on our own. We will surely get lost in misinterpretation, well-intentioned motives, or pride. The Spirt must not only lead. We need the Spirit to drive us.

So Smith encourages us to lay down our resistance to the one who 'loves me infinitely more than I can guess, the One who is more on my side than I am myself." God truly knows us more than we know ourselves. In fact, the way to discover who we truly are is to discover ourselves in Christ.

Maybe the thing I should be giving up is...control itself. I must find an area in my life where I can lose control. Instead of giving up chocolate, or red meat, or sodas, or TV; maybe I should consider giving up what gives me security in my work day. That is, to sit down immediately and try to get work done efficiently so that can make sure that I am in control of my surroundings.

"Deliberate efforts to impose discipline on our lives often serve only to lead us further away from the freedom that Jesus attained through surrender to the Spirit, and promised to give." Amazing isn't it? It is going to take a lot of discipline to avoid imposing disciplines!!!

So what is the answer if not found in the mere act of giving something up or acquiring a 40 day discipline into our already busy lives?

Lent is about the freedom that is gained only through exposure to the truth.

And truth is not a thing...it is an event. Truth happens to us. Truth takes place. Truth is like a treasure that is found only when all the other junk is stripped away and what is real "emerges into the open."

It is Ash Wednesday and a great journey lay ahead.

Your Journey Through Lent: Going Beyond Mere Ritual

Lent is here. Many of us, nevertheless, may be caught by surprise. Then we play catch-up. As a result we tragically begin a ritualistic approach to the season and forget about the spiritual needs of our soul. We forget that the resurrection of our soul takes time. It may take 40 days or so before we fully appreciate and remember the meaning of the cross. We were once dead and now we are alive. It may take 40 days until we can better appreciate, from a new perspective, that Jesus was resurrected.

My encouragement to you is for you to prepare yourself for the season of Lent. Prepare yourself not for the sake of Lent itself, it doesn't need you. Rather, prepare yourself for the sake of your soul.

Begin your journey on Ash Wednesday knowing that a spiritual awakening for 40 days before Easter will take plenty of effort. A journey of the soul may often take you places that you did not intend to go. The past, the present, and the future are all in play during a sincere walk through Lent.

• So give up something for Lent...but don't do it if you believe it will make your journey into a mere ritual.
• And don't tell anyone what you are giving up. Pride may ruin your good intentions.
• Find a Lenten devotional book. FBC is going through "A Spirit for the Season: Readings for the Days of Lent." Buy it and devote yourself to it.
• Find a friend to talk to and share your discoveries.
• Journal your findings if journaling is your thing. Me...I prefer a blog.

For what it is worth, I will be sharing my daily thoughts of the devotional guide "A Spirit of the Season."
As I share my thoughts, I encourage your comments and dialogue as God brings to all of us an awareness of who we are in him.